Courtney's Cape Verde Experience...and then some

Monday, July 07, 2008

Parabens to me and my girls!

The Fotovoz (Photovoice) exposition came and went this past Saturday, July 5th (ironically also my official 2-year anniversary in Cape Verde), providing the culminating moment of over a year's worth of pondering and planning this elaborate photo project.

For those who have followed my experiences within the CJA (girls' center) and have read my descriptions of the girls' behavior and backgrounds, it should be obvious that, needless to say, this project has not been the easiest to carry out. The planning, proposal-writing, seeking of support, etc. was hard enough considering the context and difficult lack of infrastructure, but once starting the training sessions I felt as though I literally had strapped in for a roller coaster ride (cliché but so true). I had some of my favorite moments in Cape Verde (seeing the excitement of receiving their first camera and experimenting to see how it works) and some of my least favorites, including sessions where I threatened to cancel the project if behavior and attitudes didn't start improving. I had volunteer youth come to help out and then quit, with a few sticking it out to the end. I had a change of three CJA coordinators who had to be re-oriented to the project and convinced to support me (by the way making this more "me-run" than I had originally intended). Among plenty of other set-backs and challenges, we charged on. Poku a poku we were able to get where we wanted to go. Not all of my goals were accomplished (I doubt I was even remotely successful at promoting leadership and responsibility, though seeds were surely planted), but in the end, we produced something I think was good.

So about the exposition. At the end of one of the most exhausting days I have had of late, we finally started Cape Verde-style, an hour late. The President of ICCA, who has been more or less involved in the project since conception, was supposed to do the abertura, or the final part of the opening ceremony. She cancelled at the last minute, failing to even call and let us know personally, and sent no one in her stead. So not even our own institution was accurately represented on our important day. But this is how things go, nothing to be done now. So we shifted around some roles, got our stuff together, and started the show.

The turn-out was less than we had hoped, with our invitees not all present, and a lot of the girls' family members absent. But those that were there were very supportive, and the girls were able to present their work.

After presenting the center and the importance of education (the theme the girls chose for the project and took subsequent photos regarding), I presented the project and its objectives, followed by three girls who participated, sharing their experience and what they had learned:

It was great to hear their perspective, and I think it really made the presentation much more valid or meaningful. Jéssica, the girl in the middle, made everyone laugh as she described how in the beginning they cut people's heads out of pictures, but then improved as they learned.

The master of ceremony was another girl from the CJA, one who had to drop out of the project because she contracted tuberculosis (she's fine now).

After we presented the project, we uncovered the photos, which were placed on three different placars, so that the audience could come see the work the girls did.

Each girl had their own section, showing the three photos they had chosen for exposition, along with a small profile explaining who they were, where they were from, and what they liked to do.

The audience and whoever else passed by were free to check out the photos for the rest of the afternoon. This was the advantage to having an open exposition in the plaza, as people were bound to come by that weren't aware of the event before.

The following is the kick-ass banner I made, myself, freehand. Yes, it is awesome, and yes I am awesome.

This is the new CJA coordinator, Magui, who was very helpful in organizing the exposition and who likely was as exhausted as I was at the end of this day.

I put these poor CEJ youth (and many many more) to work this day, carrying this and that here and there. The big placars were pretty heavy, so I am grateful for my jovens. Even Booby helped, the lighter-skinned "DJ"; he is developmentally handicapped and so very sweet.

This is Ercília, my famous and adored psychologist, who was the other essential element to planning this exposition. Without her support, it wouldn't have been successful, or at least not as smoothly run as it was.

Even Aguido, my Peace Corps boss and APCD, came up to support me and my girls. Yeah, it's part of his job, but it was nice to see him there, cigarette in hand, smooth as ever.

Other Peace Corps friends showed up as well, which meant a lot to me, as I had spent so much time on this project. Jay, as you can see, was there as well:).

And here's my famous group! Aren't we all so lovely?

Okay, so I just had to include egotistical and vain pictures of myself, because I had such a beautiful skirt, made by Eneida's dad.

***

In other miscellaneous news beyond Fotovoz, we finally said goodbye to Eneida, though she refused to have a party. So we offered her framed photographs with space for all the youth to sign and write little messages for her. We presented it to her the Saturday before the exposition, and she loved it.

Also along Eneida lines (I feel like I must look obsessed with her...). She has recently and with my help, started her own bag-making business. I have helped her out with marketing and publicity, and we are starting to make her a catalog and website to open up her clientele. Everyone is in love with her bags, she does quality work, and I have no doubt it will take off beyond her expectations. She makes bags from the traditional panu di terra as well as almost any other material she can find. She takes requests for styles and colors, and she is able to make them quite quickly.

For publicity, we take pictures of all the bags she makes (also for the catalog). Trying to be creative, I turned her into a baglady for this shot.

And finally, here is a shot of my friend and CEJ youth Nelcy at her confirmation party. She has helped me out massively from the beginning of the Fotovoz project to the end (although she couldn't make the exposition).

Okay, I think that's enough for now. I'll try to update again shortly, or let's say I'll make as much effort as you all do in leaving comments! Haha. Okay just kidding. I'll write again soon.

Tuesday, July 01, 2008

Goodnight, sweetheart, well it's time to go......

I tried to write this blog twice. Difficult to formulate words…and then once formulated, I lost the blog I had written. So here I am, attempt #2.

My Chefia is gone. By Chefia I am referring to my dear, amazing, coffee-drinking colleague at the CEJ, Eneida. I didn’t talk about her too much in the blog, but she became a core element to my life in the last 9 months. As we were gearing up with tons of new projects and a massive restructuring of our youth corps, tragedy occurred. Granted it was slightly foreseen tragedy, but abrupt nonetheless. I just realized as I said tragedy that you all probably think she died. No, no, thank God no. She left the CEJ. She applied for a position working with the Peace Corps during PST, thinking she had permission from the CEJ to do both PST and work on continuing projects during her “extra” time (granted not the most realistic perspective, but could have worked). She got the position, only to be told by the CEJ that it wouldn’t work for her to do both (permission rescinded), and she had to leave the CEJ, dropping all of our projects on….me. Double sad. Now I’m stressed and alone at work.

It’s frustrating for so many reasons. 1) If I had known she wouldn’t be allowed to continue projects while doing PST, I would never have recommended her, and Peace Corps would never have hired her (they are now in an awkward position, stealing employees from their partnering institutions); 2) We worked SOOO well together and work was 10 times easier because we spurred ideas, creativity, and productivity in each other; 3) I am not a full-time CEJ employee, meaning I don’t have the time or energy to take on everything by myself—I was support rather than the forerunner, which is how it always should have been, no?; 4) So many of the youth had rejoined the group because of the team we had made, and many of them because of her open and wonderful spirit. They may now become a little more unmotivated; and 5) No more daily coffee breaks, though I have been meeting occasionally with my good friend Nitcha for coffee in her stead.

I was pretty sad about it all at first—really more exasperated, because as if I didn’t already have enough to do?? I am not just at the CEJ, but at the CJA (a place that increases your stress level by just walking through the door), and I have this huge photo project. Time is almost nonexistent. For the first few weeks I was so overwhelmed just about everyone I know made some kind of comment about my over-working. However, after a few weeks of adjustment, I am doing well with it all. Still stressed, but well. The youth are showing a bit of determination on their part, which makes me excited, and they still come to visit, which means they aren’t going to quit just because Eneida left. On another positive note, Paulo and I presented the youth corps restructure project to the National Coordinator for Volunteerism within the Secretary of State for Youth, and she was so excited and impressed, she wants to use it as example to be implemented in youth and volunteer institutions throughout all of Cape Verde. So that was nice validation. Would’ve been nice to have Eneida by my side to enjoy the praise, but life moves on.

Anyway, that’s done, and I’m pushing on forward like any good (or crazy) volunteer would do. As I mentioned, the photo project is wrapping up, and we have our exposition marked…drumroll, please….for this Saturday!! It’s finally happening, and I am neck-deep in preparations for the big event. Hopefully it will all go more or less according to plan and I can wash my hands of this deal. I am exhausted, and as much as I have enjoyed certain parts of the experience, it has been nowhere near easy. I will try and take pictures and then post them in the next few weeks.

Also, the Gambia is a go!! I am all kinds of mixed up about it, wondering if I was crazy to sign on for another year in rural Africa, coming up against many of the same frustrations I have felt these last 2 years, but I think I am ready for it. I think I will gain so much wonderful and valuable experience to then bring with me wherever I go. That alone is worth any “suffering” I can claim to go through. I am mostly excited for the new adventure, knowing it will make or break me officially in my career or non-career in international development. Assumingly after this I will either push forward or retreat to the American life. We’ll see.

For a long time I was more ready than can be expressed in words to return home, to leave this country, and to be done with the hardest 2 years of my life. I dreamt of America, counted the time, and became impatient at all the over-exaggerated annoyances of Cape Verdean culture, assuring myself that things would be better once I went home and moved on. This is changing. I am now a bit more reluctant to leave, realizing what all I have here, what all I’m leaving behind. I have so many wonderful relationships, have had so many experiences, I don’t quite know how to confront saying goodbye. And I’m worried that I will be so busy these last few months of service that it will all fly right by me and I’ll be on the plane, regretting the lack of time spent nurturing friendships and giving a proper goodbye. Because really the last few months will still be busy. I don’t foresee a great pause, though perhaps the whole number of things to do may decrease a little.

Anyway, I’m rambling, and not so articulately, which I hate. Suffice it to say that all the things that need to be said don’t know just how to come out of me yet, and will probably all come barraging at me at once, knocking me off my feet in a tumble of tears and confusion. Save that goodness for later.

I’m signing off for now, with more news hopefully to come. I am awaiting an official COS date, but it will probably be in mid-September.

Here’s a few pics to hold you all over.

Oh yeah, and last night we had our first rain—not a big one, but rain nonetheless, and today it is brufa-ing (a light sprinkle), all of which means people will run for the hills with frantic joy to start planting…and I’ll probably lose a huge quantity of my youth to simentera (planting seeds). Catch 22.

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Looking back on almost two years of service

Over a week ago, the group I entered service with had our official Close of Service (COS) conference, the beginning of the quick downhill slide towards reentrance into the States (for most of us). For three and a half final days, we were all together again for likely the last time, recounting experiences, de-stressing, and preparing our anxious minds for reverse culture shock. It was truly a bizarre feeling to know that likely I might never see some of them again. I was so anxious for the conference to arrive, and then it proceeded so quickly that I was back in Assomada before the blink of an eye. Much as these two years have felt, if I can be so cliché-y.

I have avoided writing this blog since I got back mainly because I am not sure how to approach describing my feelings about this whole process. Striving for eloquence almost seems out of the question. Instead there's a whole lot of "uhhh"s and "well"s and "I'm not sure"s floating around in my head. Thinking about what has occurred within the last two years is sometimes mind-boggling, processing how much I've changed as a person, grown, learned, been broken, been repaired. At times I just feel so weary, as if my feet trudge their final steps instead of marching proudly; but other times I feel ecstatic, dancing the final steps with joy at the experience I've been allowed during my time here. In any case, I am on the way out, even though there are still 4 months left. I feel like there's so much left to do, so many things just beginning that I want to see completed; but everyone's role has to shift and change throughout the years. We go where we feel we're called and hope that it's the right decision, and know that people will move on and in time be fine without you. It always has, always will.

I have thought so much about America for the last several months, sometimes it feels like just a dream. I am wrought with anxiety, knowing there are wonderful things and terrible things awaiting me on US soil. So much information I lack, so "behind the times", so unsure of what to do in large grocery stores. Yet there's Starbucks, and Mom, and lots and lots of trees. Truthfully, at the end of 3 1/2 days of thinking only about returning and readjustment, I felt like I would be stepping onto a plane the next day, on my way overseas again. Wait, you mean I still have 4 more months left??! Two reactions: Phew! and Aw, man! So ready and not ready at the same time. But enough of the dichotomies.

I thought it appropriate to take advantage of this pivotal moment to take a look back on these past two years via photography. I tried to select photos that represent some of the different phases that have occurred, beginning to end. So enjoy the ride, I suppose. Also I hope you all really appreciate this blog, because it took me a freaking long time to upload all these pictures. Here goes...

BEFORE LEAVING