Free at last, free at last...!

Okay, so here I am finally in Assomada, using the blessed internet for the first time in weeks:) I´m just attaching the journals like normal, so enjoy! I hope this finds you all well and in good spirits.

9/2/03

I don’t really have any journals to update, just whatever comes to mind right now as I sit at the computer. It’s been a long week (I don’t think I’ve ever wanted a week to be over more), and we’re all getting impatient and antsy to go to site, to reclaim our independence, to start work, to meet our new communities. Last week we opened up our bank accounts and finished up our language classes, starting to make the final arrangements before we go. It’s a bit crazy that there’s only a week of training left before I’m dropped off and expected to do stuff. The TEFL people finished up their second model school in Praia yesterday and we all had a festa with dancing (we taught them the electric slide), singing, and a humorous attempt at leading a round of three-legged-racing. Each of the TEFL Trainees taught their class a song, skit, or poem to recite/perform in English for everyone, and then at the end the Trainees performed a Portuguese song to one of the Brazilian novellas that everyone here loves. The kids went crazy!

This next week we have conferences with our counterparts (the people we’re matched with at our institutions—they help you integrate, teach you the ropes at the job, etc.), language competency exams, and some logistics sessions to let us know how we’ll get to our sites and what to do once we’re there. We also have shopping time in Praia to get some stuff for our houses/apartments that we don’t already have. Just basically a wrap-up week. So hopefully it will go by fast and we’ll all be off on our own! I’m excited to see what my place looks like, start settling in, make it my home. Then I’ll have to start staking out internet places (pathetic, I know), so I can just go and do some “housecleaning” and get some of the stuff I never have time to do done.

I’m feeling a confusing mix of anxiety, excitement, fear, and joy all at once. Sometimes you wonder how you’ll respond when you no longer have people guiding you through what to do, no one holding your hand, and you’re out on your own—that’s the anxiety and fear part. But at the same time I am so glad to be here; this is what I want to be doing, this is my passion, this is what I signed up for and it’s about to start. And in life you can’t always predict what will happen or how you will handle it, you just have to throw yourself in and trust that all that you’ve learned along the way has shaped who you are enough to be able to handle it. And it’s nice to remember that you’re not done learning, that you’re always allowed to make mistakes and let them build you up. Cheesy, yes, but it’s really the attitude you choose that determines how well you glide through the frustrating times. So I choose a hopeful one. I can’t help that I’m eternal optimist:).

9/3/06

Today we were supposed to host our all-girls futbol game, but alas, the wholly powerful txuba (rain, if you were paying attention before, *wink*) was sent with force by the god of weather patterns and our soccer court quickly became a swimming pool. Literally. People busted out their swimsuits. So we have postponed the game until Wednesday evening (pending further txuba), which will hopefully go off without a hitch. In any case, the river rapids that ran through the roads of São Domingos proved to be a good time. And as I mentioned before, rain puts everyone here in a good mood (when I told my mom I was sad that the rain meant no game, she laughed harder than I’ve ever seen her laugh—not in a mean way, be assured). Such a good mood, in fact, that all the young men of S. Domingos were drawn from their homes to come splash around in a big pseudo-soccer/throw-each-other-around-in-the-water extravaganza. My next statement may appear vain and superficial, for which I don’t apologize one bit (I’m only human). Watching a multitude of soaking wet, chiseled, and shirtless Cape Verdean men frolic with glee in the rain is quite the treat for the eyes. There, I said it. I believe quite a few women would agree.

And so needless to say this was not too bad of an end to a slightly poopy weekend. Postponing the game was no big deal (provided it doesn’t rain again on Wednesday), the girls didn’t mind, and it gave me a chance to have a much more relaxing Sunday, cleaning/organizing my room, reading, and just getting some much-needed rest and alone time. So hopefully I will be going into this last week with a more positive attitude and a little more energy—which would require going to bed an hour ago, so goodnight:)

9/4/06

We met our counterparts for the first time today, which was both exciting and exhausting. I was nervous at first, because you never know if you’ll get along with the person or if they’ll end up being the uninterested, uninvolved type we heard so much about from current PCVs. My main counterpart (I have 2) is the ICM coordinator for Santa Catarina (the region Assomada is in), a 30-year-old woman named Ivete who seems to be very helpful and hopefully pleasant to work with. She studied law in a university in Brazil, so she’s very direct and no-nonsense, yet very friendly and good-natured. I think she’ll be really useful in helping me to integrate in the community and in showing me the things/places/people I need to know. Plus she seemed really interested in my past experience and in my plans for my thesis project, so hopefully she can be instrumental in getting that monstrous thing (okay not really monstrous) accomplished. We had to make an activity list of all the things we need/want to accomplish within the first 3 months, and it was exhausting just thinking of all the information that will be thrown at me. The whole day was just exhausting—almost more complex Criolu than my brain could handle. I was designated (again) as the unofficial translator for the youth development group, bouncing questions back and forth between counterparts, PCTs, and Peace Corps staff. I don’t mind at all, it’s great practice for me, but it requires a lot of attention and energy, and makes finishing my own tasks take a lot longer when I have to helop make sure everyone understands what the other person is saying and what they’re supposed to be doing. I like the challenge, stretching myself to be able to articulate project expectations and other people’s thoughts and concerns. And it’s increasing my confidence, that I might get around okay once I get to site. And my counterpart was pretty psyched that we could have a decent conversation in Criolu—less frustration and misunderstanding. There will be plenty of miscommunication to come and I’ll need a lot of patience from her, but I feel like I’m in a good starting point. It makes me happy because it’s really important to me to be able to communicate meaningfully with the community directly rather than through a translator—that’s how the most affective change is made and trust is earned (as any international development worker will tell you). Tomorrow I have my language proficiency interview (LPI), so we’ll see officially how well (or poorly) I’m doing and what areas need work. It helps that I’ll be working around plenty of kids, because they’re generally the best resource for learning a language, always patient and helpful. I really just can’t wait to get there!

9/6/06

Ugh, I don’t even know what to say about tonight. It was frustrating and wonderful at the same time, both a success and failure. We had our girls’ futbol game—just barely—and I don’t really know how it got pulled off. We went to the Polivalenti (the recreation court/center) after class and saw that it was being used for a guys’ futbol tournament that was supposed to go on for several more hours, which they were supposed to have had last night and instead bumped up without checking to see if the Polivalenti was reserved (formal reservations seem to be a strange concept in Cape Verde). We anxiously told them that our game was supposed to start at 7:00 and that all the girls would be showing up to play. They told us they’d give us an hour as soon as the current game was over. As 7:00 approached we got pretty nervous because there were about 5 girls there (remember we signed up almost 60?), not even enough for one team. Seconds before we went down to forfeit, an army of girls, complete with matching jerseys (where’d they get uniforms??) charged excitedly into the Polivalenti ready to play. Sara, my shining star and the girl who basically helped us organize the whole thing and did a lot of the brunt work, ran in with the biggest “I’m ready to take on the world” smile and gave me a big hug. We all breathed a huge sigh of relief and ushered the girls from Boavista/Pousada (the two zones that were playing together against a different zone) onto the court to start organizing and explaining rules. Soon after, the Juan Garido crew (from the other zone) charged in, complete with different matching jerseys (what in the world?). So all of the sudden it looked like we had a game on our hands. When we had originally planned the whole idea and signed up the girls, we knew we’d probably have to group up the girls by age and rotate groups out by age so that we didn’t have the 9-12 year old girls playing the 15-21 year old girls. The problem was when Juan Garido showed up, there were only older girls, no younger girls to rotate in against our younger girls in Boavista/Pousada. While we waited for someone to fix the lights so we could play (it was near pitch black), which took another 20 minutes out of our playing time, we told the girls to group up roughly by age in groups of 6 so we could switch them out. Somewhere in the process of running between teams, a team coach showed up for Boavista/Pousada and started giving orders (where did he come from??), beginning by telling the younger girls they couldn’t play and to give their jerseys to the older girls. So Sara and Lany came up to me crying and handed me their team markers, saying the coach wouldn’t let them play. Sara wouldn’t even talk, not a word. I tried to figure out the situation, but as time was running out, the ref started the game and it looked like a good chunk of girls wouldn’t get to play, nothing we could do about it. So the older girls played a short but exciting game, and I’ve never seen the spectators go so crazy for a local futbol match. So in that aspect, it was a great success—guys like to watch the girls take a shot at it. My zone lost, but I found out that Carla really shows up for futbol, she’s really good!

I had a hard time enjoying the success of our event, because the girls were so upset. I tried to explain the situation and that I had no control over what happened, but Sara wouldn’t even talk to me. I was so crushed—these girls were my favorite people in São Domingos, the ones I got closest to, and I was sure they were all mad at me. I got their hopes up, planned an event for them, and they couldn’t even participate. Not only was the event centered around them, but they did most of the work walking around and signing girls up, calling them to tell them the day had changed to Wednesday, etc. With only a few days left before I leave São Domingos, the last thing I wanted was to leave on a sour note. Eventually as the girls saw how upset I was about it, they came and sat by me and then eventually started talking to me, explaining that they were more mad at the coach who had told them they couldn’t play than at me—they were just a bunch of disappointed little girls. I still felt pretty awful, that they had been let down, but at least they didn’t hate or blame me. Igor (my special neighbor friend) told me I should try and plan a game between the younger S. Domingos girls and the girls at the ICM center I’ll be working at in Assomada. He said it would be fun to plan a whole big evening with music and dancing so the girls could feel special taking a field trip out to an event planned just for them. I told him it was an awesome idea and am already anxious to find out when I’ll be able to do it.

Speaking of Igor, we spent the rest of the night talking about anything and everything, which both made me feel much better and made me a little sad, because he’s an amazing person to talk to, but he’s leaving soon for the army in São Vicente (military service is mandatory in Cape Verde, regardless of how opposed you may be to it), and found out there’s a chance he might get sent to another island for his formação for more than a year after he finishes training camp in São Vicente. It’s sad because we were both so excited that I would be located close enough for him to visit. There’s still a chance he’ll be placed in Praia after what’s essentially boot camp for 45 days, which would certainly be great. But whatever happens, happens—I need to be more focused on integrating into my community and doing my job once I get to Assomada. The first 3 months are always the toughest adjustment period and are critical to the rest of your 2 years of service. Sooo…no thoughts of boys for awhile. It’s good for me:).

9/9/06

Well, today we are officially Peace Corps Volunteers! We had our swearing-in ceremony complete with the Prime Minister of Cape Verde, the President of the local camara, the US ambassador, and all our families, as a result of which one letter in our acronym has changed. Sweet. Really, though, it is exciting, it means none of us will be sent home as a result of being inadequate or unprepared for service—we all made it through nine weeks! I can already taste the freedom…except that we’re still not allowed to leave site for the first 3 months (which means I can’t take the 40-minute hiace ride to S. Domingos to see my family, which *ahem* means no seeing Igor before he leaves for the army :( ). Oh well, more time to settle in to the new house. Tonight we are all hanging out at Jessica (second-year PCV) and Jean-Claude’s palace (literally their place is huge and they have a balcony almost the size of my apartment in the States) to have one last hurrah before everyone flies off to different islands. Tomorrow I and the other PCVs staying on Santiago will go pick up our stuff in S. Domingos and head off to our sites to finally start the “independent” life under the caring yet firm arm of US Peace Corps. More to report once I get to Assomada!

9/13/06

Here I sit, in my new house in Assomada, thinking about how to describe the situation as I find it. I haven’t written the last three days because we have spent all of those days in their entirety cleaning one of the messiest houses I’ve seen in a long time. I won’t complain long because really it’s a great house, incredibly large (nowhere in my imagination did I picture living in these conditions while doing the Peace Corps, I almost feel guilty writing about it) with three rooms, a kitchen, 1 ½ bathrooms, and a large entry room. No one-room shack with a latrine in back and a mud-thatched roof. That said, I felt in part as though I was entering an old abandoned haunted house where you heard rumors that someone had once lived, but perhaps someone died or fled suddenly from the house and left everything as it was. It was a bit crazy: dead bugs everywhere, a good thick layer of dirt, grime and cobwebs over everything, dirty dishes in the sink, molded food in the refrigerator (complete with a frozen fish peeking out of the freezer), furniture carelessly strewn about, a bathroom door that doesn’t close, a leaky sink, and one bathroom I still won’t even open the door to because of the scary smell and 2 inches of dirt over everything. The house smelled as though any moment I would uncover whatever animal had been so unfortunate as to die in some hidden cabinet or drawer. So needless to say, Nick and I had a lot of work ahead of us, with the help of another Volunteer placed in Assomada working with the environment. We had to throw away all the junk that had been left behind by the last PCV, rearrange furniture, take off all sheets and fabrics to be immediately washed, and then tackle each room one by one. I spent an entire afternoon/evening scouring the bathroom, which was very unsightly, unusable, and reeked of things I won’t speak of. The only way I could make the bathtub (yeah, we actually have a bathtub!) usable was to take steel wool and a whole lot of elbow grease to it, taking off a thick layer of who-knows-what. But now it’s pretty much ready for use. And now after three straight days of cleaning, we’ve just about got the whole house done, I can’t believe how fast we did it! We still haven’t approached that other disgusting bathroom, but it can wait. The most important part is that our rooms are set up so we can start unpacking and feeling as though it really is home. Hopefully we’ll get the leaky sink and windows fixed soon enough.

* * *

Today I started my first day at “work”, though really I just met with my counterpart and we toured the Center, walked around town to see some of the important locations, then met my other counterpart at the CEJ (youth center), walked through the camara and met some people, made my face familiar around town, etc. I won’t be actually starting much work for a week or two (and even then it will be minimal at first) so that I can just focus on integrating, getting to know the people I’ll be working with, learning my way around town, getting settled in at the house, etc. I got to meet several of the girls that live at the Center today, and I think I’m going to have a great time, they’re really sweet! They were fascinated by me and after a few minutes of skeptical observation, they sat down and started talking to me. There’s a girl who’s deaf and mute named Eunice who’s very sweet and with whom I’ll hopefully be able to find a decent way to communicate. There are a few girls who seem very troubled, who have behavioral problems and don’t talk much. A few girls have developmental and mental disabilities, one of whom I met this morning and whom is very sweet. She’s a wanderer, though, and they have to lock the doors so that she doesn’t go out onto the streets and try to run away or wander off. In Santa Catarina they only have one psychologist for all ICM functions (including both centers in Assomada and Picos), and she has to spread out her time between all 60-ish children in the centers, many of whom need severe intervention. According to Ivete (my counterpart), psychologists in the ICM don’t usually last more than a couple of months, no one wants to work in a place that has that much need and pays little. The psychologist they have now has been there one year, so she’s hoping that the woman will stay on for awhile. Unfortunately, it’s a similar situation as in the States: people with degrees in psychology only want to work for more money, in things like private practice, rather than the poorly-paid ICM workers. That’s why, just like in the US, there’s a shortage of dedicated social workers and other social service employees, because they get paid so poorly. I wish I knew how to change that, how to rearrange priorities. There certainly won’t be a shortage of things for me to do while I’m here. Additionally, I’ve already received several requests to teach English, so it looks like I’ll be plenty busy these next two years. The social worker that works at the Center, Andreia, is from Portugal and seems extremely nice and will be wonderful to work with. I’m excited that I’ll hopefully be working a lot alongside her, learning the ropes of social services for youth in Cape Verde. Although she’s knew to CV as well, only a year and half in country. We’ll learn together. At any rate, I’m here, I’m settled, and hopefully in for two great years of working hard and making progress for Assomada. Overall, I’m very happy to be here, very excited to learn the way of life in Assomada, and hoping that eventually I’ll get the hang of cooking. In the meantime, it’s peanut butter on crackers and cheese on bread:).