Hum dum de dum

I hate that feeling when you knew a few days ago you should have journaled when you felt like it and had something to say, but decided to go to bed instead, and now you sit in front of the computer not really feeling like writing and trying to remember what you had wanted to say earlier but don’t feel it anymore. Oh well. I had wanted to write earlier when I was feeling really happy because the day after I was sad about missing São Domingos, two buses full of S. Domingos youth drove into Assomada for the volunteer week we’re having with the CEJ. I was so happy, it just filled me up to see some familiar faces! I know eventually I will feel comfortable and recognized in Assomada, but sometimes you just miss that feeling that people know you and you know them, just the point we were at in S. Domingos. So Ima and some of the other guys who help out at the CEJ and around town have been here all week, which has been a relief, a good help in making me feel more comfortable in my job. Which still doesn’t really feel like a job, especially this week, since I just come sporadically to help out with activities, not really with any level of responsibility, just to hang out with the kids and lend a hand once in awhile. Which is to be expected, but I can’t wait for the day when I actually feel integrated enough into the organizations that I don’t just stand around wondering what the hell’s going on and waiting for someone to direct me to what I need to do. I’m just in that weird place of “no real responsibility yet”, wanting to help and maybe to be in charge of something, but not knowing how to help yet. It’s a good humbling experience to just sit back and be the attentive observer at first.

I was excited because Andreia and Ivete were going to take me with them this week to make house visits to the families of some girls who were kicked out of the center and might be able to return (long story), which would be like diving in to social work my second week, but unfortunately Andreia is sick this week, so it will have to wait. Maybe next week once this volunteer fair thing is over. Today I get to help lead (though I don’t know how much actual leading will be done) a group of youth volunteers who are going to help out for the afternoon in the ICM—finally something I know a little bit about! It’ll be a good chance to see the girls again, I already miss themJ. On Monday I came to watch/help them make cloth dolls and sew clothing for the dolls, and one of the girls came and whispered in my ear, asking me to come back in the afternoon to watch them dance, very top secret—or she was just being shy. So I came back and they performed a few of their choreographed dances (much like the girls in S. Domingos do), then busted out in some batuk and funana, all of which I took pictures of. They loved looking at all the pictures, and when I talked to them about doing a project with cameras and having them take pictures, they really liked the idea. They also liked the idea of playing a futbol game with the S. Domingos girls, so maybe that will be underway soon. Speaking of the S. Domingos girls, Sara and Keila have been calling me frequently now that they got my phone number from my host family. I thought it was sweet at first, but I’m hoping it doesn’t become a thing where they feel they can call every day, four times a day. Yesterday they called four times within a few hours. I don’t have the heart to tell them not to. But hopefully it will die down and they’ll understand I’m not always available.

Anyway, I guess not a whole lot else to report. Hopefully soon enough I’ll start feeling more comfortable with my roommate. He’s nice, but I still often feel like an unwanted guest who’s overstayed their welcome. It’ll get better as we start to settle into a routine. Anyway, I should sign off so I can go get some cleaning done in the house. More to write soon! P.S. If you want my new address in Assomada and don’t have it yet, let me know and I’ll hook you up—can’t post it on public internet site, for obvious reasons. Love you all!